Monday, January 18, 2010

Resisting the urge

Can I just say, I feel fantastic!! :) I mean really healthy and happy for the first time in a really long time. I suppose that these things don't happen all at once. But, it occurred to me the other day that I really am happy. And, as a result, my sales have increased, my rapport building with customers has increased, I laugh easier, etc...

So, I was thinking that I should link to a new blog. I should start something new that marks the beginning of this shift in the grief process.

And then I laughed. Out loud. Of all the lessons that I've learned over the last two years, it's that it's okay for my peas to touch my carrots. For the waffle syrup to spill over from one neat tidy little square to the next. That compartmentalization isn't healthy. In fact, while it protects in the short-term, in the long-run it can do much damage.

That in compartmentalizing my life I lose myself. Even when it hurts to read back over this blog and realize how really broken and messed up I was, I have to resist the urge to hide it. It's still who I am. It's a journal of progress. It's life. No need to pretend like the pain never existed. Rather the healing deserves a celebration!

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