Saturday, July 19, 2008

Ex

Ecstasy. eX -- the quit smoking drug. The X generation. My "Ex" called tonight. I answered. There are those who probably think I shouldn't have picked up, but I did.

It was another emotional diatribe, but this time I managed to escape without a migraine or a bout of depression.

Here's the truth about my divorce. I'm grateful that I had the courage and strength to leave an emotionally abusive relationship. I was blessed to have supportive friends and family. Was I perfect? No. I was the enabler. But, in the process, I lost everything, and I had to leave out of self-preservation.

That being said, it frustrates me that my ex and I can't communicate as Christians. That we can't seem to extend grace to one another. I feel like I have to be mean in order to encourage him to move on. And, he wants to blame me for the fact that he is divorced.

I believe that God loves us. That he has saved me by His GRACE. That he has saved Tim by His GRACE. That God has complete compassion and love for both of us. That He wants the best for both of us.

Why can't we communicate grace to one another? Maybe we're just both still healing, but when we have the same fight that we've had for the last year, then, it doesn't seem like we've really made much progress.

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